Rob Brown, MD

A Physician's Unique Perspective on Wellness

Month: November 2017

Free will versus spiritual guidance: How the universe sometimes calls the shots

Have you ever been frustrated by the experience of wanting something badly, but never truly being able to have it? No matter how hard you try, it seems as if the universe will provide you glimpses of your desire, but forbids you to have ownership. This has been my experience with the plant Wysteria.

Descending down the hillside on the Isle of Capri, we headed towards the grotto. I’m sure Capri’s tourist attraction was beautiful, but to be frank, I don’t remember it. I don’t even remember if we were heading to the Blue grotto or the Green grotto! What I do recall of that day was our walk down the hill and standing beneath an arbor covered with blooming Wysteria. It was the first time I had ever seen this flower and I was awestruck by its beauty and scent. The grape-like clusters of purple flowers hung underneath a wooden lattice and surrounded me and Kristin. I remember the fragrance was intoxicating. We sat there for a while before continuing our journey down to the water. I fell in love with Wysteria on that day and vowed that I would grow those blooms in my future backyard.

So, 5 years later after purchasing my first home in Shadyside, a section of Pittsburgh, the first thing I did was to plant Wysteria. The plant grew and grew, but didn’t bloom. I read about taking care of Wysteria and learned that it could take a few years for the plant to be mature enough to flower, so I waited. But, after 3 years, no success. I read that by cutting the branches and sometimes the roots, the plant could be stimulated to blossom. So, I did just that. But, pruning didn’t work either. After 7 years, I changed jobs and planned a move to New York City.

Before the internet, securing housing in New York City was difficult. It helped to know people. Rent controlled apartments and other desirable places to live were hard to find. People used to check the obituaries to find vacancies. There weren’t many, if any “For Rent” signs on the street. Using an agent made the process less onerous, especially if one was moving to the big apple from out of town. My two closest friends, both living in the East village, a neighborhood of Manhattan, didn’t know anyone influential. My hope was to live somewhere near them. My only real “want” for housing was to have outdoor space. That way my two cats, who had been used to roaming Shadyside, could get spend some time outside. I contacted an agency and planned a trip to the city.

The weekend I visited, the agency had nothing to show me. So my friend, David, and I criss crossed our way through lower Manhattan, starting at 22rd street. We walked across town from 1st Avenue to 9th avenue. Then, walked one block South to 21st street, and walked back down to 1st avenue. We made our way down through the East Village, Greenwich Village, the West Village, and Gramercy. During one of the two days, while walking down West 13th street, I admired a Wysteria vine growing up the facade of a brownstone. It was June and I knew that Wysteria back home had already leafed out. This plant though was oddly in full bloom. I walked up the stairs to the front door of the stone home where I was able to reach and smell the sweet aroma of the flowers. “Wow.”, I said, “This is amazing!” We continued our journey all the way down to Houston street, where the numbered streets began. In all, we must have walked well over 100 city blocks and passed thousands of apartment buildings, brownstones and businesses.

No place to live and a bit disappointed, I got back home to Pittsburgh when the rental agent called. There were now 3 units available with outdoor space. I made a few calls and arranged for the agent to take David to see the units. I couldn’t fly back to New York and I trusted his judgement. He knew my taste.

When he called me later the next day, I asked, “So how were they?”

He said, “Well, you know one place already.”

“I do?” I asked, a bit confused.

“Yes. It’s the place with the Wysteria. You’re gonna love that apartment. It’s a split level on both the first and second floors. And, it includes an outdoor patio.”

I was amazed. Out of over a thousand buildings I saw that weekend…

I took the unit “sight unseen” and chuckled as I mailed the first rent check to my new landlord who lived at 69 Fifth Avenue.

When I moved to West 13th street a month later, the first thing I noticed driving up to the Brownstone was that the Wysteria had been removed!

Since then, I have encountered Wysteria in bloom only a few times, each time during a crossroad in my life. I’ve also re-tried to grow the plant. This most recent time, I purchased two mature Wysteria plants, both of which were in full bloom in the greenhouse when I purchased them. But, once they were transplanted into the yard, the blooms quickly dropped off and neither plant ever bloomed again.

Now, 8 years later, I’ve come to accept that Wysteria is more than a plant for me. It is a spiritual beacon. A guide that I cannot have on my own terms. I must simply experience the beauty of the flower when it mysteriously manifests in my life, and take confidence in knowing that its presence is directing me to a new destiny.

The Art of Manifesting… Art!

The law of attraction, vision boards, and focussed meditation are all techniques credited for bringing about manifestation. Sometimes creation can happen in a moment. At other times, it can seemingly take years.

A skeptic may define this phenomenon as random, ‘luck of the draw.’ Sometimes though, coincidences leading up to a manifestation are so uncanny, it is hard not to question whether or not there are other forces at work, including divine intervention. At one time, I only attributed my synchronistic events with spiritual guidance and the number 69. But, over time, life experiences helped to broaden my understanding of manifestation, and I evolved.

A Manifestation of …Art?

“You’re not an art collector.” my uncle once blurted out during a phone call. He used his demeaning tone. It was true. At the time, I didn’t have any art that one would have considered collectible. I explained to him that it was how I found my first piece, or rather, how it came to find me, that inspired me to take the plunge and make the purchase.

It happened one weekend during my residency training when The Rolling Stones came to town. The Saturday night concert was phenomenal. On the following day, I unwound while strolling through the Andy Warhol museum in downtown Pittsburgh.

On one of the middle floors of the 7 story building, there was a room hosting a collection of oversized, floating silver clouds. The effect was awesome. But, what really struck me in that room was on the wall, behind the pillows.  There, hung in succession, was a series of Mick Jagger serigraphs. I stared at the collection, absorbed by the combined talent of the singer/songwriter’s expressiveness and style created by the master graphic artist. One piece was better than the next. “Aren’t these amazing?” I said to my friend, Ann.

“Wouldn’t it be amazing to own one of these?”

I muttered, mostly to myself, but Anne heard me and replied, “I could see you owning one of these, Rob!”

We both smiled and continued our journey through the museum.

The next morning, I arrived at the 7 am conference, and I sat in my chair exhausted from the long weekend of partying. One of the other residents, Barb, struck up a conversation with me.

“Rob, you’re never going to guess what my husband saw in a pawn shop in Missoula, Montana this past weekend!”

“What?” I asked, half interested and half asleep.

“An Andy Warhol painting!”

“Really?” I said, confused and not quite sure I heard her correctly.

Why would she think I would be interested to hear about an Andy Warhol painting? Then, I remembered that she was a collector.

“Yes. He was walking through this pawn shop in Missoula and came across an original Andy Warhol serigraph. It’s of Mick Jagger!”

My mouth must have dropped open.

After a brief pause, I think I blurted out “It’s mine!” But, I tried to tether myself from the elation, because I realized that maybe the next thing she would tell me was that her husband bought it for their house.

She continued, “Yes, it’s apparently in perfect condition! I’d love to have it, but we just purchased an Andy Warhol truck, so I told my husband,  No way!”

Feeling intense joy, I beamed and exclaimed more assertively, “It’s mine!”

I told her of the amazing coincidence. What are the odds of something like that happening, I thought?? Then I wondered if it was a gift from spirit? At the time, I didn’t know about manifestation.

Something new

A few years later, having always loved the Beatles, and John Lennon’s music, in particular, I thought I wanted to buy a John Lennon’s doodle. I had seen Lennon’s artwork displayed in many galleries, but nothing ever seemed to grab me and hold my interest.

After many disappointments, I lost the interest and gave up the search. It was about that time when Yoko Ono brought a collection of John Lennon’s artwork on a national tour. The Pittsburgh show began on a Friday evening. I felt the need to be there as close to the opening as possible, for I suspected there might be a piece there that I would feel passionate about. My sister, Jackie, and I drove to the exhibition after work  and upon entering the showcase room, were surrounded by walls filled with artwork and hundreds of people. Beatles songs played in the background, helping to create n awesome atmosphere! I quickly moved around the room scanning all of the doodles until I came to one that stopped me in my tracks.  It was the exhibit’s signature piece, a simple unique line drawing called “John and Yoko.”

“Oh my god”, I said, “This is the one!”

I found the curator for the show and as we started talking about the piece, the song “Doctor Robert” came on over the speakers. I chuckled. “Why do you laugh?” He asked.

I explained to him that my name was Robert and that when I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor. So, I always considered this to be my song.

We talked a bit more, but I swiftly decided to buy the piece. The curator had requested that I leave the artwork at the show and return late Sunday afternoon to pick it up.

That Sunday, Jackie and I went back to the gallery. As we walked into the exhibit, a song ended and the song “Doctor Robert” came on the overhead speakers. “That’s odd”, I thought to myself.

We received the wrapped up picture and carefully placed it in the car trunk. Afterwards, while drinking sangria at a nearby Spanish restaurant, we reminisced with tears streaming down our faces. Neither of us could believe that something John Lennon actually drew was sitting in the trunk of the car.

We said our goodnight early for the next morning I had to work. The clock radio sounded off at 6:00 am. I heard a click and then John Lennon singing the words

“From me to you. To you. Na na naaa na na naa naa naaah”

I sat up in bed feeling intense love and joy. What an incredible coincidence! Or, was it?

I’m still not sure whether these two pieces of art came into my home by way of my manifestation or if they represented spiritual gifts. But, one thing that I am certain of, is that these were not random events. Does it matter? I think so. Yes.

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